Last week, if someone had told me that I’d be taking a day off work and then spontaneously gone to Disneyland for the day, I’d have probably laughed in their face.
And yet, that’s exactly what I found myself doing today. Daphne woke up and it was only when I heard the doorbell that I realised she was downstairs. I made her some breakfasts and then she went to Astoria’s to get ready.
It was nice, driving around California without an agenda. Normally, I’m stressing about work so much that I miss the gorgeous sights there are here. They just blend into the scenery.
Our first stop was Hollywood. We parked up and looked at the view, which I think she really loved. I even promised her I’d take her to the Walk of Fame so that is definitely on the to-go-to list. It was then that I got an idea. I quickly ferried her into the car and began driving, not dropping the slightest hint as to where we were going.
Her face when she saw the big pink castle with the Disneyland welcome sign in front was probably the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It just… lit up with happiness and you could see in an instant how excited she was.
Our first ride, Space Mountain, didn’t go so well. I clutched her hand the whole way through and my eyes were glued firmly shut until I was sure we had stopped. It just… reminded me off the crash too much. There was that feeling of falling again, the feeling of no control and the smallest voice in my head wondering if I’d survive this time. When she interrogated me on why I brought her to a theme park if I hate rides, I ended up confessing. I told her everything, journal. From how my parents really died, to how I was the one driving and that 4 years on, it still tears me apart from the inside out that I was the only survivor and that 3 wonderful people had lost their lives because of my actions.
After some persuasion from her, we decided to carry on and I agreed, not wanting to ruin the day. We even got our picture taken with Goofy. And then there was kissing - a lot of kissing, when she got a little scared on the Haunted Mansion ride.
At one point, we were interrupted by Stori, calling to check on Daphne. Apparently her brother couldn’t get hold of her or something. Oh, that’s the other thing - she was with Daphne’s brother at the time. I wonder what’s going on there. She even wanted to extend her stay, so I have a feeling that there’s definitely something. Either way, with her house empty for another two weeks, it only made sense that Daphne stay there. I asked her and thank god, she agreed.
We ended up watching the parade together and just talked. It was nothings but they meant a lot to me. It’s so nice to have someone care for you. I mean, not that I don’t appreciate Astoria always being there for me, because I do. But we’ve been friends since college. Daphne is practically a stranger who just happened to meet me and within hours, decided to make it her goal to make me happy. I mean, how often does that happen in a lifetime? Almost never, I’m willing to bet.
We got some Taco Bell (which she loved) and went back to mine to have a feast. We decided to go to the film room and stick a DVD on and she picked a horror - not that I was complaining. She said they didn’t really scared her but from the way she was cosying up to me suggested the complete opposite.
I like her, journal. I really do. My only.. qualm with the whole situation is that in 3 weeks, she’ll be gone and then what? How am I supposed to carry on this way all that time without getting attached? The kisses are sweet, the touches tender and the looks she gives me almost melt away this hard shell I’ve built up over the last few years. I feel like a new person around her, and I want to carry on being that person.
She makes me happy, journal. She truly does, and I’m scared that once she leaves, it’ll destroy me beyond repair. I let happiness slip away from me once.
I’m not so sure I’m prepared to let go so easily this time.